It's now 29th October 2024.
I've had a feed of Zenfolio. Sending random emails to random people with photos off random archived galleries. I wont renew with them, I don't need e commerce now. Just somewhere to have a public scribble and link to the odd gallery. That could be an issue.
I've copied and pasted the words but it looks a mess. Plus there are images missing, thanks Zenfolio.
Thursday February 8th 2024
It's always there.
The next bit, when will it be? Am I going to have issues like so many others? Fatigue, burns, rib issues, etc
Every bump, itch, random pain the back burner sends a DM 'is this another cancer'
It isn't ever over, you have to learn to live with the paranoia I guess? It's just there.
Thursday February 15th 2024
Scary.
The phone rang and it's Velindre! They had a cancellation so 0940hrs next Monday to see a Dr Owen Tillsley. Shit just got real again!
I forgot to ask what the appointment entailed. Ringing back is a pain, switchboard, waiting, person, another wait then an answer machine.
I messaged Ju and she said they talk to you, measure you, mark you. I need to have my questions ready and printed out. Most of them concerning this AI. (Aromatase Inhibitor)
Friday February 16th 2024
I'm sure there's lots of stuff I should be doing but I can't grasp it. It's on the periphery of my memory all the time. There's cancer overload all the time.
Walked the dogs. Saw friends and had a natter.
I've noticed that people all ask how you're doing which is nice but they don't want to talk about it. I guess it's hard for them to deal with, it's not their problem after all.
Monday February 19th 2024
Left the house 0830hrs. Here by 0925hrs. (Velindre)
It's a soulless place with an atmosphere of fear.
They were quick to call me in for weighing, blood pressure, height. They reckon I'm 5'7" I'm not having that .
Had to wait again saw Dr Tilsley.
He's a very personable Doctor. He started by saying we'll talk about radiotherapy & Aromatase Inhibitors, Letrozole. I involuntarily curled my lip at that. He picked up on it and said I can see your not impressed (or similar) I explained that the bad potential bits of it outweighed and potential good bits. After menopause your estrogen is down to 10%. It might stop it coming back by 1%.
He agreed that it wasn't really necessary. He bandied lots of % figures around, right over my head. He didn't really look at my 3 page report. I went through my bullet points, most of which were covered anyway. Writing it all down helped me though. The upshot was that I'll have 5 lots of radiotherapy. They do 5 big ones rather than 15 smaller doses. My poor body. Apparently it can damage your ribs and it's damaged that doesn't really heal quickly if at all. It does cook you inside but I'm 'lucky ' as mine is on the right Side. If nodes were involved it would still be 15.
I come back in a few days for a CT scan and tramp stamp.
Thursday February 22 2024
Went to Velindre (Cancer Centre Cardiff) for 10am
Went to outpatients, they sent us to x-ray who sent us to radio'therapy' planning. They said, oh you should have gone to outpatients, we told them we had.
We left it up to them to sort it out. Normally I work hour to hour. Today it was minute to minute. I can't say i was worried. I knew it wouldn't hurt. Why the too much talking from me? I know I'm doing it. It's a coping mechanism. It's just a CT scan FFS.
Anyway, I had it done and my tramp stamp. It wasn't scary, it didn't hurt.
Much relief when it was done, a celebratory cuppa.
I realise when I'm stressed or whatever, I talk too much. I do anyway, I'm inappropriate and I talk too much.
I also realise that I've been giving out the incomplete blogspot web address. No one will be able to read the damn thing! Fart, bum & knickers.
Thursday 7th March 2024
Up at 0730hrs.
Away at 0900hrs. Here by 0945hrs. My head is still banging and stuffed and I'm still coughing. Eyes feel like piss holes in the snow.
They were very quick. Called me to L5. I had to strip to my waist put on a grotty gown. Jewellery no problem.
Moisturiser is ok as long as it's not freshly applied. I was straight in.
It took a few minutes to arrange me and line up the dots. The cooking was about 10 minutes. I can have wine tonight 
I couldn't move and my nose kept itching.
It didn't take long and I was done, dressed and out.
About 5-6 hours later I could feel my right boob burning. I've put moo goo and aloe Vera on it and all around the area.
Friday 8th March 2024
Day 2 radio'therapy'.
We were there just before 0930. All done and dusted by 10am! Shopped in Morrisons and home by 11am.
No effects as yet.
I asked about the shape of the radio waves and it appears they go at angles. The area covered seems to be the upper front right side.
Monday 11th March 2024
We were there before 0930 hrs. Before the radio'therapy' the one young girl said here's some information on Letrozole. I'm like nooooo! Dr Tilsley agreed I didn't need it. No way do I want that toxic muck. She said well I'll leave it anyway and you can talk about it at your review. She didn't know if it was face to face or on phone. The cooking was quick.
Then they said go back to the waiting area and they'd do the review then. Saw Helen & Helen. They asked how my treatment was going. I said that so far it was too good to be true. No side effects,nothing, long may that continue. She broached the vexed subject of Letrozole. I said that Dr Tilsley had agreed with me that it wasn't necessary. Minimal benefit (maximum damage)
I talked too much again even though I didn't feel nervous. Like Steve said, it's your time to talk, it's happening to you. They gave me some cream, only because I said I was using moisturizer I think. They confirmed that from their point of view I could have a massage. I've already cleared with a BC nurse.
Apparently I get seen again at some stage by the surgeon? First I've heard of it.
We were all done and out of there by 10am.
Tuesday 12th March 2024
I checked the time yesterday at it was 0945 not 0930.
Correct she said. WE rock up early for the 0945 and she says oh, 0930hrs. Despite me checking.
It didn't take long anyway. Told them about the tender booby, it's because of the radiotherapy.
Still got sparkly pixilated vision and bit of a headache. I don't feel tense or stressed though. It's not to do with radio'therapy' as I've had it before that started too. Had a doze, water, paracetamol. Still there.
Wednesday 13th March 2024
So today was my last radio'therapy'.
We were almost late due to traffic by HQ. I had another bit of paper & more phone numbers. Neville Hall to see the BCN at sometime. When? Why? I'll ring tomorrow.
The cooking was quick.
Came out and that was that.
I didn't ring the bell, I haven't earned that. These poor women who have got over it then 2 years or sooner or later get it again, somewhere else. That's the scary bit. Such a gamble.
I fancied a coffee & cake, just to add to the full stop of it. It didn't happen.
We called in Dinky Doo (free no waste stall in the village) got a shed load of pastries. Pigged out here at home. Not as good, I wanted to mark it somehow but it'll do. Bit late now anyway.
I guess there's no point in writing in this journal now.
It's sorta done, sorta dusted but it'll never go away. I'm cancer free but not free of cancer.
Hey ho.
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